My Story in a Playlist: Falling Out of Love

BY: DIANE VAY

 

I was losing interest in someone that I was dating, but I also felt compelled to stay with him because he brought out my true colors.

When the relationship ended, it became a lot like a one-sided love. Moving on involved a lot of mental breakdowns and changes to my daily routine. I was trying to keep myself distracted from my persistent, pervasive thoughts and began to rely on alcohol.

I was living vicariously through Natalie Dormer’s character in Hozier’s music video for Someone New, which is sad -- even more so when I realized it. I was really desperate to find a way to forget my ex. Whenever I considered dating a potential love interest, I had to remind myself to snap out of an illusion in order to find something real.

In the end, I faced my fears alone, opened my mind and grew to love every aspect of myself -- sober. The more chaotic the instrumental is, the more it reflects my state of mind at the time. If you listen closely, the lyrics of each song tell the rest of my story.